Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Dark and beautiful

It seems like years since I've gotten on here - mired as I've been in my ridiculous work snafu.
But I did the difficult deed today - confronted my fears and my peers as well -
and tomorrow the sun will likely still be shining.
I think I know now what a 'whistle blower' feels like, and it's not a fun place to be.

Summer has arrived yet again in great Northwest,
bringing cornflower skies, light that carries heat
and everywhere the heady scent of nicotiana, mock orange and sweet cicely.
Recent days have been bittersweet.
I have been moved and motivated by the blogs from Bookworm and Fossil Guy -
they have become my standard for facing life head on and living every moment.
I am clearing out closets - in my house and in my head -
getting rid of the unnecessary and the unused, making room for whatever comes next.
I have also been motivated to seize the day by events in two opposing corners of my world.
Here on the West coast, a friend of mine was found dead.
She overdosed on alcohol and ocycotin; dying alone, in someone else's house
as strangers in the next room partied on without her.
While on the other coast, a friend in Florida heads
toward the bone marrow transplant that just might keep him alive.
And in between,
beneath the same sun and moon?
All those I know, and the millions I do not,
continue their dance
to music dark and beautiful.
Choosing moments of their own
and holding on
or letting go.

With thoughts of T, gone at 25.
And M, still reaching for 30.
bs

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Goodnight, you king of New Jersey

I will never love another the way that I have loved you.



bs

Thursday, June 07, 2007

discomfort

I had a blog here about work - but after the maintanence man
attended the house meeting tonight, I suddenly freaked out
and took down my post.
I don't feel comfortable writing (or talking) about work anymore.
I don't really feel comfortablable working at work some days either.

I wish I knew what to do.



bs