I went to lunch with an old friend Monday -
we ate at a cool little diner called Irises.
The food was wonderful, the ambience comfortable
and the decor entertainingly eclectic.
As we sat there, eating our smoked mozzarella pasta
and curried chicken salads, conversing quietly and
and soaking up the atmosphere, an orthodontic convention
of two was taking place a scant few feet away.
Dr. Gingerhair was holding forth, both vigorously
and loudly, on all things dental-related
"Well, in my 14 years of ortho, I don't think I've EVER seen
a tooth CRACK like that. The person must have had cracked-tooth syndrome"
"Ya know, if you scrape the GARBAGE down deep below the gum line,
there's BOUND to be BLEEDING going on... I guess you can leave the build up
or you can go ahead and REMOVE it."
His enthusiasm was admirable - I would find plaque a difficult thing to truly embrace -
but I could have done without an in-service on teeth
while I was in the middle of using my own to ENJOY FOOD.
At another table, a very handsome man and his equally lovely girlfriend
were sitting quietly, their food untouched on the plates in front of them.
Suddenly, handsome got on his cell phone and began discussing
someone's surgical procedure. "You're okay then? Okay.
Be careful driving yourself home.
"Oh, Jean's with me," handsome continued,
"She says hello and send much love."
Meanwhile, Jean was looking at herself in a small round mirror -
and if she was sending love, it wasn't to the person on the far end of the cell phone.
bs
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14 comments:
Ha! Fantastic
Enjoyed reading your latest entries very much, wish I could write like that/this - I imagine your the kind of person that never has to say 'you understand what I mean?' and leave a frantic conversation hoping that the other person knows exactly what it is that your trying to get at...
Thanks,
Carrie
I've had to pause for a while 'cos my eyes are actually watering from the smiles.
You see, THIS is what I was trying to point out on the "Pete Townshend site"...
http://boywhoheardmusic.blogspot.com/
... comedy (which has been the subject of debate over there) is not some guy coming on and doing one liners about minorities and in-laws. It's about observation, and how one conveys those observations to others. I'm going to check your profile. You can't be American. Too much understanding of "irony".
Hmmmmm... Just checked. No clues there. But you must have either a jewish, irish or liverpudlian gene in there somewhere. Got to.
I head to the dentist tomorrow for yet another crown (cracked a back tooth a few weeks back and left not much but the filling).
My favorite part of the dentist is lying there and listening to all the other hygenists and patients carrying on their conversations:
"Awthoom?" I hear to the right.
"Yes, Mr. Smiles. The bathroom's down the hall and the first door on your right."
And then I hear the man launch himself from the recliner of torture and tromp down the hall...decorated with metal and gray dam across his face.
Great read, as always, bs!
Thanks all so much
for the kind comments.
jack snipe - love the name!
ian g - Scottish! (Munro clan)
na - Why is it that the dentist always waits until you are numbed and your mouth is filled with dental equipment before he asks,"So,how have you been?"
Oh! Scottish is it! Surely that's not the foundation stone of your humour gene. The Scots seem like a comparatively humourless lot. Unless throwing tree trunks into the air can be classified as funny. But now that I think on it, Sir Harry Lauder sang a number of humouristical songs. So -- maybe.
Hello, Brown Shoes! Thanks for the nice words and encouragement on my blog. Very much appreciated. And, as always, your site is a little treasure for me.
That explains things. Me? Half Scottish. Gordon clan, and against the Brits.
ian g and fossilgut -
There is a good bit of Acadian blood mixed in there - plus some
Swede as well.
Thanks also Fossilgut for the street name - I found the place and dined well again (sans Dentists!!)
bs
That sounded like a very interesting lunch-- great observations, bs. You make me want to pay more attention.
"Meanwhile, Jean was looking at herself in a small round mirror -
and if she was sending love, it wasn't to the person on the far end of the cell phone."
Hmmm! Maybe not even to the one at the near end of phone?
Insight, humor and great writing aside - no disrespect - It really burns me when people are that loud.
My first "obnoxiously" loud restaurant experience was at Four Season's in Calgary.
Short version.
Three tables seated - these two next to us! Male, divorce lawyer with his female client whom he was "shagging" (sounds nicer ‘round here ).
After a longer than necessary (?) time hearing the intimate (and stupid) details of their liaison, I leaned over and across to their table (as not to have any possible misunderstandings) and softly told them I could not hear myself breathe...
They most certainly “calmed” down.
The end.
Regards
-.a.-
PS
Yes, would like to do same
I wish I had taken a page from your book Angeldust - I should have gone over to the dental table and bared my temporary crown for him...
bs
Thanks brown shoes, your descriptions kept me laughing for quite awhile yesterday - I felt like I was there with you... Unfortunately, lol
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