This, that and then some

Having no great fascination of my own to blather about,
I think I'll make do today with a few secondhand stories
and the ubiquitous complaint (or two).

Stolen moment Numero Uno:
So - you think you can dance?

Late last Friday night, my sister T. was home alone.
Walking into her dark kitchen to put a cup in the sink, she saw an eerie,
glowing light skittering around outside. As she moved toward the window
to get a better look, the light moved jerkily up off the ground, seeming to
'swish' sideways a bit and then settle closer to the ground. It was an odd
greenish glowing orb, and moved continually - out around the front of
her house and then off toward the side and her back door.
"Oh my god," she said aloud, "Mother was right - there ARE aliens!"
And then ran to make sure her back door was locked.
Just as she got to the door, she heard a noise that made the hair stand up
on the back of her neck. "Whssssshhhhh. Whsssssshhhhh."
Intending to test the lock, she was reaching silently for the doorknob
when a loud voice cried out, "GOT 'IM!"
In a panic, she flipped on the outside light to find the kid from next door,
standing in her carport - holding a chicken.
Turns out that one of her neighbor's many kids is a senior in high school,
and had recieved a most unusual invitation to the prom: a chicken, with a
glow-in-the-dark bracelet around its neck bearing a note that read
'Don't be chicken, go to the prom with me'. The invitation, chicken attached,
had escaped and flapped all over - turning my sister's neighborhood into
Area 51 for a brief period of time.
Dunno if the invite was a success or not, but one has to applaud the effort.

Numero Dos - How do you say, "squeal like a pig?"

My son and some friends went camping, ending up in a remote
and sparsely occupied campground. Late their first night,
they built a fire and sat around it talking and telling tales.
After an hour or so, they began to be aware of little sounds,
off in the brush beyond the light of their fire.
The noises were intermittent, and so vague it was impossible to tell
what they might be, but bothersome enough that finally, one of the guys
turned from the fire and yelled, "Helloooo?"
Suddenly, lights blared on, illuminating 3 men sitting on ATVs.
"Oh man," my son's friend J said to me later, "It was like that movie."
"There was spookytooth boy and three-finger man and knife-wielding, torn shirt dude."
One of the men asked directions to some place in the area, and J said to him,
"Uh, that's hard to explain - you probably wouldn't be able find it in the dark."
The men mumbled and grunted, and then one replied, "You can find
all kinds of things....in the dark."
There was a long, awful silence, and then the three men slowly backed
into the blackness - and were gone.
"What did you do?" I asked my son, "You didn't stay there did you?"
"Well, we sat there for a minute, waiting for the banjo music to start,"
my son said. "And then we just hauled ass outta there."
"We're not stupid mom -we've all seen the movie"

And now - a complaint:
When, oh when can we stop hearing about celebrity babies????
Even when I'm minding my own, albeit it mundane business,
up pops this info on my hotmail site: "Woody Harrelson completes
"GoddessTrilogy with birth of 3rd daughter."
Enough.
Please.
STOP.


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