I am nearly finished putting Christmas about the house - a good thing
since the big day is less than a week away. Finding and spreading holiday cheer
has been a struggle for me this year;less like making merry and more
like plowing 10 acres with my teeth.
This afternoon, I unearthed the most precious items - stored in a
paper box so old it's really more tape than paper. The ornaments inside
belonged mostly to my parents, many brought back from Germany after the war.
A few were my grandparents - those are losing their colors...
they are my ghosts of Christmas past.
The nightmare of painting the bathroom rages on - now the toilet is
leaking, necessitating 3 trips to the hardware store so far.
And last night,D.was cleaning microscopic dots of old paint off my
50's cut glass light fixture when it slipped from his hands and exploded.
One thing about old glass - when it breaks, it is an event!
I still do not understand why every teeny tiny speck of nearly
invisible paint just HAD to be scrubbed off - but I guess that problem
is solved now.
I should be wrapping some gifts, or cleaning up the the giant mess in
my house - but instead I am writing and staring out the window.
The green and the rain are beautiful and silent and fill me with something
almost like peace.
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2 comments:
Ahhh... green and rain. Here, it's white and ice. I've already said it, I think-- this is a non-xmas year for me. I have a feeling, and this is just between you and me, that it's the not drinking. I am thinking that I need to downplay the holiday aspect of it. In meetings, I hear everyone angsting (no, generally NOT a verb)about the holidays, because clearly it's a trigger for most. So, I've turned myself into Ebenezer--the '38 version on this Fri. on TCM, btw-- and focus instead on the greedy making of money and then, post visitation, spending it on my loved ones. I avert my eyes from the holly and the ivy, but every once in a while find myself humming a carol.
I miss white and ice - except for the cold - and I suppose one must have cold to have the rest.
I too am having my own Ebenezer-fest (same version, same problem) -
and am averting my eyes from the holly as well.
I do, like you, find myself humming a tune now and then...
Currently: it's a toss up between
'A Bullet and a Target' by Citizen Cope and 'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen' - depending, of course, on my mood.
bs
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